People in relationships exchange gifts all the time. Holiday gifts. Birthday gifts. Wedding gifts. You name it. When the relationship is on, it seems like itâll last forever. But people grow up and change, they choose to part ways. Itâs sad but true. Gifts may stand out as a beautiful memory, or a representation of an abusive relationship. But what to do when someone asks for a gift back?
You can justify holding it because when the person gave you the gift, they were intentional and wanted you to have it. If they change their mind later, itâs not your fault. Itâs still âbest practiceâ to return the gift. Plus, you may get into legal trouble if you refused to give the gift back.
Just give it back. Itâs not worth the trouble, you donât want something to remind you of that person. But if you donât mind the constant reminder, you can keep it in some cases. If youâre interested in knowing what to do when someone asks for a gift back, then keep reading.
What To Do When Someone Asks For A Gift Back
Itâs never a happy experience when someone asks to return a gift. Asking for a gift back could be embarrassing for everyone involved. The only positive thing about it is that itâs not you whoâs asking for a gift back.
You might know the motive behind the gift in the first place. Perhaps, it was your birthday, special holiday, or wedding. At any rate, itâs even harder to determine the motive behind asking for the gift back.
Assume goodwill, and return the gift when you can. The person might be in a tougher situation than you imagine. They might be afraid to explain the situation to you. They might have their reasons.
But before you return the gift, try to figure out why theyâre asking you to return the gift. Itâs possible that they need your help more than they need the gift back.
Sometimes, it might be obvious why theyâre asking for a gift back. If you recently broke up with them, had a big fight, or hurt their feelings in some way. In some cases, you want to keep the gift because the intention was to keep it when they gave it to you.
In other cases, you want to forget the relationship and donât want something to remind you of them. But if they ask for it out of the blue, try to ask them whatâs wrong.
Are they going through some financial problems and want the gift back so they can sell it? Maybe theyâre afraid to tell you about it. Furthermore, they might want the gift back to cause you some emotional damage.
All in all, whether you decide to give it back or not, itâs still a headache.
If Someone Gives You Money Can They Ask For It Back
Money is a sensitive issue between friends and family. First, you have to determine whether it was given as a gift or a loan.
Sometimes, people gift you with money when they have lots of it. And when their circumstances change, they might ask you to return it. But you may have spent it, and donât have enough to pay them back.
In that case, apologize to them. Thereâs really nothing you can do to give it back.
But if it was a loan, you must return it. Especially, if it was a big loan.
In both cases, itâs hard for them to ask for their money back. So, be as gentle as you can be. Assure them that youâll return it as soon as you can because you donât know what theyâre going through.
Usually, people wonât ask for their money back unless theyâre in a tough situation and need the money. You have to go back to the time when they gave you the money. Was there any agreement about whether itâs a gift or a loan?
Do you have evidence that it was a gift? Like, emails, WhatsApp messages, or even a tweet? You need to prove that it was a gift in case that person takes it to the court. Yes, they can take it to the court as will be clarified down below.
The person might give you money as a gift, and decide later that it was a loan. So, when taking money from someone, itâs important to ask them (be subtle!) whether itâs a gift, loan, or something else. And you must have screenshots or recordings that it was a gift.
Money gifts are a one-time action, and the giver doesnât have a right to ask for them back. Once given, the money becomes yours to do as you please with it.
Even if the person decides later to ask for it back, they must prove that thereâs some agreement that youâll return it.
Do You Legally Have To Give Gifts Back?
Unless there was a legal agreement, the other person canât take any legal action against you. Still, they can go to a small court and force you to give it back.
You donât need a lawyer to go to a small court. You can file a claim with little to no fees if you believe you were manipulated in some way to give the gift.
In that case, the person will still need to prove their case. Thatâs why you need to have proof that you received the gift as a gift.
After a relationship breaks up, a person will go to a small court and ask for their gifts back. Itâs common practice. They might not need the gift but want to cause you some trouble.
If that happens to you, donât get intimidated. Again, have some proof that it was a gift. Otherwise, the court might order you to return the gift.
Did the person send threatening messages? Do you have photos that prove it was a gift? Do you have gift receipts?
Gather all your evidence to support your case. You might think itâs not worth the trouble. But the gift might hold a sentimental or monetary value and it wouldnât be easy to lose it.
There are cases when youâre obliged to return the gift. For example, a woman must return her engagement diamond ring in case of breaking up. Although it was a gift, it was a âconditional giftâ based on the promise of marriage. If thereâs no marriage, then she must return the ring.
A girlfriend might sue her boyfriend to return the video game console she bought him while in the relationship. But if the boyfriend can prove it was a gift by showing a screenshot of her Facebook status stating it was a gift, she has a weaker position.
The legal side is complicated, but yes, a person can legally force you to return their gift or money. And it falls on you to prove that it was an unreturnable gift when you received it. It doesnât even take a lawyer to sue you for small gifts up to $5,000 in the US.
In the UK, if you donât respond to a small court claim, theyâll assume youâre âguiltyâ and force you to pay. So, if somebody sues you in a small claim, donât ignore it. And if you have evidence that proves your innocence, donât hesitate to respond.
What Is It Called When Someone Gives You Something Then Takes It Back?
Call it a gift with strings attached, manipulative, bribe, blackmail, or even lame. Thereâs also the American expression, âIndian Giverâ to describe people who give something and ask for it back. Whatever you call it, always âassume goodwill.â
Thereâs no way you can see the point of view of another person completely. Try to be a little understanding. Certainly, you can find some excuse for this behavior. Sometimes, you hurt people without knowing. When offended by friends, people keep to themselves.
Theyâll hide their hurt feelings because they donât want to push the issue further.
If you people in your life start asking for their gifts back, itâs worth overthinking why they do. If itâs something you can fix, find out what it is. If theyâre just being lame, itâs in your best interest to get rid of them and their gifts.
If theyâre being narcissists, you donât have to be. Err on the side of caution, and try to save your relationship. Sometimes, youâre obliged to return the gift. Sometimes, youâre better off keeping it to yourself.
In any case, itâs not worth losing a friend over a gift even if itâs a gold bar!
Can Gifted Money Be Taken Back?
When you can prove that it was a gift when you received it, then no, it canât be taken back. The person might take legal action against you and claim it was a loan. But unless they can prove it, they canât use the law to force you to return the gifted money.
It sounds a little bit awkward, but whenever you receive a high-value gift, keep proof that it was a gift. In case the person decides later to get it back, you can prove they gave it to you as a gift. Therefore, they canât ask for it back.
