December holidays are the perfect time to do fun activities and share the cheer with friends and loved ones. One of our favorite activities all around the world is taking part in gift exchanges. And while a regular gift exchange is excellent, a Dirty Santa gift exchange is way better.
What are Dirty Santa gifts? Also known as white elephant gifts, these are part of an exchange where people give each other the funniest, most annoying gifts to each other, to later try and steal the best of the worst around!
The Best 35 Dirty Santa gifts
When you think of the best Dirty Santa gifts, think of the following adjectives: Raunchy. Loud. Inconvenient. Inappropriate. Funny. Unseeable. Annoying. If the gift fits two or more of these categories, you’re good to go!
Let’s review the 35 great options for these holidays’ Dirty Santa gift exchange without further ado.
Funny hand Sanitizer Bottle
With these times when cleanliness and health are of great importance, having a friendly reminder of when and why to sanitize our hands is always appreciated. And this snarky hand sanitizer bottle does the job perfectly! Remind your friends about basic hygiene and have them help others to keep their hands clean with this fantastic hand sanitizer bottle. Don’t worry. The hand sanitizer itself does not smell bad. The only gag item in the package is the bottle. The hand sanitizer has a pleasant citrus smell, reasonably better than generic hand sanitizer.
Basic Black Co…llectible Mug
If your friends are huge fans of their strong black coffee in an equally strong black mug, this cup is quite an affordable yet lovely surprise! If hot coffee or the image of Barry Wood in his birthday suit do not manage to wake them up, nothing will! Perfect for a family holiday or as a second-hand gift for your grandma. Of course, the mug itself is censored with an eggplant emoji to comply with distribution and basic decency laws. Regardless, it is a perfectly working mug with no other gimmick. Excellent addition for coffee mug collectors as well.
Book of Dad Jokes
Help your friend to manifest their inner dad with this book of dad jokes! It has 200 one-liners, setups, and punchlines of pure dad joke material that will make everyone in the room roll their eyes and smirk at the silliness of the jokes. This is the gift everyone might want to steal from after all gifts are open in the exchange.
Witty Message Parking Notes
We are willing to bet you or your friends have found yourselves with a not-so-nice person who carelessly left their car in a parking lot or the street, blocking the way or impeding parking. With these clever notes, your friends can explain their parking sins to other drivers in a friendly, witty tone! With this pack of 25 cards you can fill on the spot, that annoying person who ruined your day will be sure to mind their parking manners next time!
Cock Breath Gag Mints
Let’s admit it. After waking up from a busy night or right after a sloppy good morning kiss, we all need some help in the breath department. It’s always a good idea to carry a tin of mints in your pocket or purse. And these are clear statements that you understand what your friend was up to in the early morning… it’s 9 am already. Let’s get rid of that cock breath. Like the hand sanitizer, the only gag of this gift is the packaging; the mints are pretty effective at getting rid of bad breath.
Dooty Calls 2022 Calendar
If there is a traditional white elephant gift for low budgets, it must be an outdated (or soon-to-be outdated) calendar! Nothing is more fun in these gift exchanges than having your friends stuck with a seemingly helpful item that will be of no use to them. But it’s all not downsides to it! It has cute pictures of pretty dogs… doing their business outside. An almost perfect Dirty Santa gift: cheap, useless, and funny!
Nature’s Dongs 2023 Calendar
Instead of screwing your friend over with a past year’s calendar that will be useless for them, let’s be a little more thoughtful and get them a working calendar. Even better, a calendar teaches you about nature’s wonders as time passes. Of course, if by wonders, we refer to everything eggplant-shaped we can find in nature. It’s a great eco-friendly gift as well, as recycled pulp from domestic sources only is used in its making.
Funny Wickless Christmas Candles
Christmas is a season to enjoy the warmth of your home, and what’s better than doing it with a scented candle? The pleasant smell from these candles will help your friends relieve their stress! They will surely think of you when they bust a nut these holidays! Of course, Amazon has a wide selection of equally funny and nice scented wax cubes for your Dirty Santa needs. Where’s the “white elephant” part of this gift, though? Your friend will have to buy candle wicks and craft the candle all by themselves.
“I pooped” Bathroom Guestbook
Every good host makes their guests feel truly special, an essential part of their home. The best way to do this is by having a guestbook, where the guests can leave a piece of the good times spent together. And what’s a better place to have a guestbook than the place where the most fantastic ideas, the most intimate thoughts, and the foulest odors arise? Of course, the bathroom! Have your guests even rate their pooping experience on your throne. Of course, have them wash their hands before.
Roto Wipe Prank Giftbox
This is the best gift that anyone could ever receive. Leaked straight from the deepest research offices from NASA, it alleviates the gruesome task of having to roll out toilet paper and reach your bottom to… wait for a second. It’s just the box! What a tease! Wrap an actual decent gift with this prank box and have laughs assured when your friends and loved ones see this box! There are many designs to choose from on Amazon. Another equally hilarious (and probably exciting) design for this gag box is the “Margarita Shower Head.”
Hilarious “52 things” Book
Who said the bathroom is not a place or time to be active and find things to do? With 52 Things To Do While You Poo, you can forget about the old days of reading the shampoo label, the same gossip magazine from 10 years ago or checking your socials on your cellphone while you poo. You will find 52 pages with mildly interesting facts, challenging brain teasers, and mind-boggling puzzles that will keep your friend and their guests entertained while nature calls! Pair this with the bathroom guestbook and bring your friends’ guests an unforgettable bathroom experience.
Headlight Fluid for Car
This is the perfect gift to confuse that friend, acquaintance, or family member who doesn’t know much about cars! Have them insist to their mechanic or dealership that their car needs an urgent headlight fluid change and look at their faces when they tell you how that exchange went. Bonus points if you convince them it also works for other appliances.
Farting Santa Plush Toy
One of the most iconic gag gifts of every Christmas ever. Farting, peeing, or mooning, Santa is an unmistakable gift when you’re not sure of what to buy! This Santa makes the perfect office decoration for the holiday season and a great toy to entertain people in a waiting or living room. It operates on batteries, so make sure not to buy them to further annoy your friend with one of the best Dirty Santa gifts.
Sarcastic Message T-shirts
If you have a friend complaining about not having enough options in their wardrobe, think no more. We’ve found the perfect gift for them. A 100% cotton, fresh but durable T-shirt with a message to spread holiday cheer! Lovely comments and laughs are guaranteed when your friend wears this for work, church, or a grocery run. You can also find variants of this shirt for both genders and in almost every standard size with hilarious one-liners such as “I’m so good Santa came twice,” “I put out (cookies) for Santa,” and “Santa’s favorite h0”, among others.
Funny Stemless Wine Glass
This upcoming Christmas is the perfect gift for wine, egg nog, and cocktail lovers. A beautiful stemless wine glass with a straightforward, honest message: “I Love to Wrap Both My Hands Around It And Swallow.” This glass is made to last lots of holidays with whoever dares to drink from it, and who knows, it can even be a good way for your friend to flirt at a gathering! Who can resist the message in the glass?
Dad Belly Fanny Pack
Daily, we often need to carry various small items, such as car keys, credit cards, cellphone, money, etc. And there are few options more comfortable than a fanny pack! Plus, how useful wouldn’t it be to carry an extra beer gut at a party? With this novelty fanny pack, your friend will have the capacity and the looks of your average dad bod gut. As an extra treat, the fanny pack comes with another gift: a pair of socks with funny dad jokes like “if you can read this, bring me a cup of coffee.” The gift that keeps on giving!
Sexy Reversible Pillow Cover
Dirty Santa gifts are all about messing with the other person, but with this gift, you can show you care about the other person’s love life. It’s a durable pillow cover that has two messages on it: “Tonight (whoo hoo)” and “Not Tonight (I’m sorry).” It will serve your friend to send a clear message to their partner about when and where they’re available for love. It will also let their nosy family member know what will go on later in the bedroom so they can steer clear. Communication is key! And do not worry about quality. This pillow cover is made to endure the “Today” nights!
Burrito Wrap Throw Blanket Dirty Santa gifts
On those cold winter days, what does one appreciate the most? A cozy, warm burrito blanket, that’s for sure. And what better way to feel warm and well wrapped than a blanket that looks like a corn tortilla? Make sure your friend washes this throw blanket now and then, lest they start smelling like a burrito. Avocado and chili are not included in the package.
Dirty Santa Naughty Lipstick
A Dirty Santa gift exchange is not always to mess with your friends, family, or office mates. It can also be a time to show you care. And this lipstick is the perfect gift for women to show you notice their efforts to look and feel pretty! They will always think of you when retouching their lips and get lots of looks even while they do their makeup! Of course, remember to pick the correct shade of lipstick for the person receiving the gift. You have 12 colors, from Hot Pink, Swollen Red, to Thick Chocolate.
Big Black Co…llectible Puzzle
If your friends are fans of Barry Wood, they will love this 500-piece puzzle; if they’re not, they will be! Before you get worried about your conservative granny finding this puzzle by accident and having a good shock, the puzzle is censored with an eggplant emoji. This puzzle is a great thing to do with the family on a Sunday afternoon while drinking coffee in your Basic Black Collectible Mug.
Led Ugly Holiday Beanie Dirty Santa gifts
Christmas is also that time of year when sweaters are the norm. And yes, this includes the ugly sweater Grandma thought was an excellent gift for you a couple of years ago. This happens to most of us. Now, you can enhance your friends’ outfits these holidays with an equally ugly beanie! The LED lights will make you feel more in tune with the jolly season (and it makes excellent camouflage if you come across someone you don’t want to address and are near a Christmas tree).
Walmart People Coloring Book
Painting by number apps and mandala coloring books have soared in popularity since 2020. Here’s a relaxing coloring book with a funny twist: it is about ugly people you can find in Walmart in hilarious everyday situations. If you have children around, a must-have coloring book will help them prepare for the world (of course, keep children away from this book). You can get your friend a box of thin, easy-to-break crayons to match the awkwardness of this coloring book.
Novelty Guzzler Helmet
With this guzzler helmet, you can drink from not only one but two cans a }t a time. Imagine the possibilities! You can drink your favorite soda, beer, or juice, and even mix your drinks in the straw without using your hands! Of course, at the expense of looking like a complete moron, but who cares? This item is one of the most inconvenient yet convenient on the list! You might even want to steal it back after giving it.
Christmas theme Man Thong
Help your friend spice up their relationship or feel better about his body with this excellent man thong! It is made of light, comfortable, durable polyester. It even has bells as nipple tassels so you can find your friends everywhere they go. A great outfit choice for a beach or pool day as well!
Dirty Santa gifts The Official BS Button
Finally, the gift we’ve all wanted at some point in our lives. A portable, battery-operated, durable button that calls for BS when needed. This gift needs not a lot of explanation. Just press the button so everyone around you can hear the truth of what’s being said on the spot.
Double Message Coffee Mug Dirty Santa gifts
Another excellent coffee mug choice because there is always a friend who can never have enough mugs at home! This one has quite a well-crafted design, though. It has a “Have a nice day” text on the front while giving a substantial 3D middle finger from the bottom of the cup. It can also work perfectly in an office environment.
6-pack Abs Kitchen Apron
The ideal gift for that grilling aficionado who has given up on their summer body. Everybody deserves to feel good in their body and sexy for the rest. And this cooking apron is the best way to do it while you enjoy some tasty ribs or a huge homemade burger! Since it ties in the back, you don’t have to worry about the real abs falling off soon!
Dirty Santa gifts Rubber chickens, 15 pack
What could be more annoying than a rancid yellow, squeaky, screaming rubber chicken? More rubber chickens! 15, to be precise. Perfect for holding in your hand, squeezing, and relieving stress. And if you want to be somewhat generous, you can give one chicken each to all of your friends (and still have 13 chickens left to give out next year).
The Original Wine Condom
What started as a makeshift solution for a half-drunk bottle of wine quickly became an internet sensation and a household must for every wine lover. Safety comes first when having fun. That way, you will be able to have fun later! And this also applies to drinking wine. The Wine Condom is made from food-grade latex that will keep your wine intact for days.
A Chicken Lovers Cookbook
By Anna Konik, 50 Cocks That Won’t Disappoint – A Chicken Lovers Cookbook is a surprisingly creative and descriptive recipe book. What better way to spend Christmas than putting the chicken in the oven at dinner time? With this book, your friend will become a master in the art of handling cocks, that is for sure.
Funny Turtle Plant Pot
There is always someone in our lives who loves plants. And if not, you are probably that person. Give your plant-loving friend a beautiful plant pot for their favorite succulent, cactus, ficus, or bonsai these holidays. Even though it is a small plant pot (only 2 inches for your small plant), it will surely attract looks and be a specific conversation piece—the perfect fit for a coffee table in a living room.
True Santa Liquor Dispenser
This liquor dispenser is built to last years. It can hold up to 16 ounces of your favorite spirit within a 13 inches tall decoration. Your friend’s favorite drink, just the way they want it, right from Santa’s private faucet. We hope Santa cleaned himself before serving. It needs 2 AA batteries. Remember not to include them when you give this away.
Telescopic Magnetic Pickup Tool
Although it could have some use, this gift works for two purposes. First, it will remind your friend of his old age. When you need that many gadgets to find a little screw, perhaps you’re past your prime. Secondly, it is the tool for men that have every other tool conceivable. It will surely be a good company to dust the toolshed or attic.
Shark Coochie (Charcuterie) Board
An excellent pick for the single man at a Dirty Santa gift exchange with a healthy budget. You might ask, why is this item so expensive for a novelty cutting board? The reason: it is not a toy. It is made to last. This impressively entire charcuterie board will make your friend envy the barbecue parties! Besides being a functional item, it is a great conversation piece if your friend wants to try going deep on the details of pronouncing “shark coochie” correctly. We mean charcuterie.
Inflatable Elephant Adult Costume
And what better way to end the list than with a literal elephant! Inconvenience your friends with this tacky and unnecessarily expensive inflatable elephant costume! Your friend will be the laughing stock wherever they go with this unnecessarily bulky, ugly excuse of disguise.
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